"I hope this indian-english amuses you but does not bias you against indians who, as you know, speak among the finest english in the world..."
Notices in English for tourists in India
Notices in English for tourists in Gujarat (from a friend in Ahmedabad)
In an Ahmedabad Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read this notice.
In a Surat hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In the elevator in Hotel Tex Pallazo, Surat :
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a Baroda hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Jamnagar :
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a Ahmedabad hotel near Gujarat College
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
Edwards Laundry on Relief Road, Ahmedabad:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
In a Bhavnagar hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is rekvested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In a Anand laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a heritage hotel at Junagadh:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides (on the famous white asses) in Rann of Kutch :
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
In a 5-Star Hotel cocktail lounge in Ahmedabad:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
In the office of a Ahmedabad gynecologist:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
In a Bharuch hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Enjoy!
